If my vision weren't already limited, it was this period in Skater's life during which I seem to have lost my sight completely. When I looked at this precious soul, all I saw was the epitome of the "showdog". Skater had blossomed into an exquisite, plush, typey, beautifully angulated black and red young dog who had an iron back and moved with the same power and grace as his sire and dam. To top it all off, he loved to show and, once again, I had struck gold. Skater's campaign was short and sweet - he finished quickly and gave a stellar performance each time out. His first show was the most memorable. We drove from L.A. up to Sacramento for a weekend of 5 point Specialties. It was a thrill to have him go Best Puppy on the same day his sire, Cajun, went Best of Breed. Nice start for the kid! Pity that I can't remember anything else about the weekend with this beloved dog except his time in the ring.
As I knew he would be a dynamite Special, I decided to let him "grow up" some while we campaigned others. So, Skater's life became very routine; he was kenneled 90% of the time. All our dogs had "house time" and Skater was no exception but, again, I wasn't paying any attention to his individuality. Skater was roadworked and went out to Saturday morning class just to stay ring-wise. This was his life; in retrospect, no life at all.
Marital problems and a subsequent divorce forced me to make some very difficult choices. I could only take two dogs with me and chose to take Grouch and Skater. Sadly, Skater was an afterthought and, to be honest, a last minute decision. I knew he had much glory ahead of him in the show ring and didn't want to lose that. So, Skater came with me simply because I was being selfish. It really didn't change his life except that, now, he got no house time at all. For almost five months he literally lived a life of solitude. The only time I spent with him was when I fed him and when I cleaned his kennel.
In September, I lost my Grouch. Between the dissolution of my marriage and the loss of a beloved dog, I had had enough and took off to visit a friend in another state, leaving my mom with the care of Skater. After a few weeks, I chose to relocate to the midwest but STILL didn't have Skater shipped out to me until another month had gone by.
I look back at the first almost four years of my beloved boy's life in absolute horror. While his physical needs were more than met, his emotional needs were completely neglected. Yet, every morning I was greeted with so much love it was if he forgave me over and over again. I never saw the hope in those soft brown eyes; the hope for time, togetherness, a hug. If I could take back and redo anything in my life it would be Skater's first few years. Inevitably, they were MY loss, time I could never recover, hours I could not go back and spend telling my boy how precious and special he was. Yes, Skater forgave me. I will never forgive myself for being there yet missing a full third of his life.
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