Wednesday, June 20, 2012

A Conscious Decision


Yesterday, I made a huge decision, that being to reclaim parts of my life that I had let go and sorely missed.  I didn't actually and consciously decide to let things go but, rather, allowed life to get in the way and, literally, suck up so much time that I felt some unseen pressure to economize my joy.  That choice was one of the worst I've ever made and I'm happy to see its lifetime end.  The picture above represents what I am determined to reclaim.  A crooked photo of a portrait done by Paula many years ago, it so captures the serenity and time I used to allow myself to take pleasure in doing what I loved most.  Paula painted Sarah and me as we sat on the grass after working puppies in training for the ring.  It was a peaceful moment with a tired puppy who was content to simply sit on my lap and let me breathe in her warmth.  We all need moments like that in our lives and, as I've discovered, must do what ever is necessary to be sure that they can happen.

It's been a very strange time for me these last twenty or so months; as much as I would NEVER want to repeat them, they have taught me some valuable lessons.  I'll get into all that in later entries but, for now, just wanted to dip my toes back into the water and simply enjoy being back.  Thanks for everyone's patience - so many of you have been exceptionally kind and I really do appreciate it!  For now, I need to get dogs fed, finish a couple of articles which are nearing deadline and, then, take Bounder over to the polo fields and let him enjoy just being the silly dog that he is.  Again, thank you all. 

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Twenty-Seven Years


The beautiful Sirca, aka "Moo", Skater's great grandma ... the light of our lives. Hard to believe that she entered the world twenty-seven years ago today. She gave us so much. She asked for so little. I loved seeing her in generation after generation of puppies. Sirca was the talker, something that came through loud and clear in Skater. It's so silent now. I love and miss you, Moo.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Three Long Years


Yes, I've used the marigolds again; it's one of my favorite photos of Skater and I have so few.
It's been three years. The old adage, "time flies when you're having fun," does not hold true. Life IS good ... but I miss my boy as much today as I did on the night of August 13, 2007. He still gets his plan every night, still plays in my head, still (and always) fills my heart. But, the physical absence and the ache so caused has not diminished. I had horrible dreams about dogs last night. I don't know why I had them or what they meant but this is not a happy anniversary and I think my subconscious knows that.
Last year on this date, I sent Skater a red heart balloon. Today, I will bury him ... again ... but nearby this time, in a beautiful place, in a peaceful place, in a place where I know he is safe. His plan, a photo of this magnificent dog, my "WWST" bracelet, a bit of his hair and some fluff from each of his 2 favorite bunnies are all securely in a beautiful metal case that originally housed recordings of Handel's Messiah. This will be buried at the foot of an old and majestic California oak and a few of his marigolds, the seeds taken from those plants in the photo, will be planted above. And, if, in 100 years, someone unearths this memorial to my dog, he or she will know that an angel truly did walk upon the earth.
I love and miss you, Bug.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Walnut



For some odd reason, my mom always called Warlock, "Walnut." Warlock was born 26 years ago yesterday. Bred by Rosemarie Davis, he came into our lives at 10 weeks of age and never left. The photo above was taken when he was almost 13 years old.


Warlock was an interesting dog and, by far, one of the most intelligent dogs I have ever known. He had a memory like the proverbial steel trap and was always thinking, sometimes in ways that weren't terribly appreciated. Warlock was not only bright, he was clever. And vocal. And strong. The funny thing about this boy was that he really wasn't any trouble as a pup. He was obedient and easy to live with, learned the ropes of the show ring in short order and had a temperament that was as close to perfect as they come. Then he grew up.


The first of Warlock's disasters was when he bred and tied a wire crate. Yes, there was a bitch in season in the crate but, when his efforts to get to her began, there was also a closed solid wood door and a bed between him and the crate. I'm not sure how he got through the door; when we came home, it was splintered and off its hinges. Then there was that bed. Like all beds, it had a mattress and one of my lovely old quilts. The mattress died ... well, actually, Warlock killed it. (He also killed my Raggedy Ann but that's another story.) How he managed to get every last bit of stuffing out of the mattress and spread throughout the entire room was and remains a mystery. It looked like a blizzard had hit. There was our Warlock, mounted upon and tied to the crate; the bitch inside looked partially disgusted and mostly amused. It took a pair of heavy duty pliers and the strength of 2 adults to free him and his penis. He was none the worse for wear. We were.


Warlock and my dear friend, Paula, had a very special relationship; it began when he pulled her over the top of two high-backed chairs and a table and broke her ribs. She adored that boy and brought him gifts yearly. I swear that he looked forward to her visits. Paula wrote a beautiful short story about Warlock and I will treasure it always.
When Fish was almost 6 weeks in whelp to Conan, Warlock opened a brand new jar of Filaribits. He didn't break it open; he held the bottle with his paws while he unscrewed the top with his mouth. As I said, Warlock was very bright. There were 4 other dogs in the room with him at the time, including the pregnant Fish. When I discovered the open jar and counted the remaining pills, I knew there were approximately 70 missing. With Warlock involved, he could have eaten them all himself or divided them evenly among the five of them. I spent quite a bit of time on the telephone, at 2:00 AM, with the vet on call at the manufacturer to find out what devastation was about to befall my dogs. Apparently, the only problem with the amount potentially ingested by one to five dogs was temporary liver damage. I was told to watch the color of their urine; if it turned orange, we needed veterinary help. Well, it was most interesting to stand outside at 3:00 AM, armed with a flashlight, and try to determine what shade of pee was what. Everyone was fine and Fish delivered 5 healthy babies 3 weeks later.
Warlock was relentless ... if he wanted to play, you played. If you walked away, he played alone. Besides being an excellent catcher, he excelled at both tether ball and soccer. And, he could throw. Near the end of his life, Warlock lost the function of his rear end. BUT, that didn't stop him from playing Frisbee. You could sit 10-15 feet from him and toss the disk ... he would catch it and toss it back.
Warlock was an amazing soul. I still miss his wit and his constant "banter." Can't wait to see you again, Buddy!


Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Shining Brightly



Dawn has always said that she has a foot in each of two worlds; she has recognized my Skater's "visits" on more than one occasion and realized things about him that I had never told her. She suggested that I keep a candle lit in the window for him every night.

Here is your candle, my precious boy; let it guide you to whatever you seek.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Birthday Bunnies


Whoever believes that there is no heaven and that the spirits of those who have gone before us do not watch and guide us from the idyllic place, has never been blessed with the love and friendship of a Dog.
Thank you for the message, Skater. Again, happy birthday, my boy.

5479 Days


Fifteen years (or 5479 days) ago, on an overcast Thursday afternoon, you entered this world and my life. In that first moment, little did I know that I was holding a tiny miracle, two pounds of fur-wrapped bliss that would forever change my life.
Our journey has been amazing, yet very unevenly weighted on those heavenly scales. You have put so much into your side, I have put comparatively little into mine. I am human, incapable of the unconditional and constant faith, devotion and love you have always given. My love for you is greater than any I have ever known yet inevitably lacks the purity of yours for me. There is a reason the God spelled backwards is Dog.
You are my prayer, my constant presence, my ever-vigilant guardian. If I could only see your beautiful face, look into the depth of your eyes and bury my face into your comforting neck once more ... then MY life would be heaven.
I miss you, Skater, sometimes more than I can stand. I pray for you, for those who went before you, but, first and last, always for you. I honor and celebrate you. And, on this sunny anniversary of your birth, I celebrate your journey and thank you for choosing me as the faulty human with whom you take that journey. I love you, Bug. Happy Birthday.